August 26th

Sorry I haven't posted lately. Life in general lately has been crazy for me. I bought the house I've been living in for almost 10 years and there were so many hoops to jump through I think I've developed legs of steel!! Since I'm self employed, it was a real nightmare proving the income and whatnot to satisfy the bank. I'm also helping teach a Boot Camp class at our local YMCA @ 5:30 every weekday morning so I don't have to take time away from the boys in the evening to go workout. And with school starting, and homework every night for all four boys, it's been a very interesting last few weeks!!

Dad was evaluated by Area Mental Health Center as requested by his doctor, and also by Dad himself to test his competency to drive a vehicle. The loss of his driving privileges have really hit him hard and he has become quite angry with us, but Mom takes the brunt of it because she lives with him. Adam removed the keys from the house because Dad was threatening to physically tear the house apart to find them after Mom told him she would not give them to him.

He was nervous and didn't do as well as he had hoped on the test. It showed that he is experiencing dementia, which, of course, we already knew.

He was placed in the Normal range for:

• comprehension
• repetition
• naming
• judgement

He was placed in the Moderate Impairment range for:

• calculations
• similarities

He was classified as Severe Impairment range for:

• construction
• memory

The report states that "Based on his cognitive deficits and input from family about their concerns, it does appear that Philip should not be operating a vehicle at this time."

This was, of course, devastating and although Dad denies any depression, his anger and irritability, along with other indicators do point toward that. The report indicates that the therapist testing him also had concerns. She felt that with the loss of his driving privileges, the loss of activities he previously enjoyed (things his back pain and lack of energy prevent like golf and bowling, etc) and the other symptoms pointed toward depression but Dad once again denied that he is feeling any depression.

This test was to give us a baseline for further evaluation and treatment. His driver's license has not been formally taken away, but he is under orders from the doctor, the local mental health center and his family not to drive.

Dad is becoming quite impatient, which is not normal for him at all. His computer will not turn on now, which may be a simple fix, but I was not able to take it apart that night, so he called me as I was leaving to ask me where he should go to buy a new computer. I told him he didn't need a brand new computer, probably just a part to fix his and he became angry with me telling me he has been spending all sorts of money on that old computer and he just wants a new one so it will work right. He has not had to spend any money at all on his current computer aside from the initial purchase and a $30 CD rewriter drive that I installed myself. When I reminded him that I would fix it when I had time, he once again argued with me that he would just go and buy a new one. I told him that if he was that intent on a new computer (which I'm afraid will only be more complicated than his current one) that I would help him find a good deal and we would check eBay. He then asked what stores in town sold eBay. When I gently reminded him that eBay wasn't a brand, but an auction website, he became angry and defensive.

Once again, I feel like this is not my dad. I am so very glad we still have some good times and that he is such a sweet guy when he's being himself, but the bad times sure do help me appreciate the kindness of the ones I love.