August 13th

Today Dad had an evaluation with the lady from our local Area Agency on Aging. Dad is still insistent on driving and is having a hard time accepting that he may not be able to drive again. She asked him simple questions, some of which he answered well and others he was completely off. He claimed credit for all the cooking, cleaning and laundry, which are all things he needs help with. He also told her he hadn't fallen in 4 years, and that the obviously new bruising on his arms was old. He may have been trying to bluff her, or possibly he just does not remember.

He is becoming frustrated with himself (which in a twisted way, is a good sign, because it indicates some comprehension of his situation) and that's hard to watch. He got upset to tears today over the fact that he spent almost 2 hours cutting some cantaloupes and then as he was throwing away the rind, he absentmindedly threw away all the fruit, too. Of course, he was standing on his feet on the hard kitchen floor for that entire time, so I know his back was hurting and then he didn't have anything to show for it.

We have another evaluation scheduled for next week. This one is with the people from the mental health agency, and while we're not worried about a mental defect, they may have some ideas in regards to medications that could help control his mood swings. And they will be another "authority figure" to reiterate to him that he cannot drive at this point.

I went to their house tonight with 2 of my boys (I have 4 boys for those of you who might not know me!!) and after I had been there for quite a while, and had spoken to him, he looked at my face and said, "Ashley!?!?" I don't know if he hadn't really recognized me before that, or if this is just another example of his fading in and out of consciousness. He then looked at my son, standing directly at my side, and asked where he (my son) was. He seemed to know them until that point.

The lady doing his evaluation today asked him what his plans were for the future (trying to assess if he understood that he might require long term care) and he had no idea what she was trying to get at. He doesn't realize he has changed so much and is not at all ready for the idea of having to leave home. That will be a hard discussion when it has to come.