August 26th

Sorry I haven't posted lately. Life in general lately has been crazy for me. I bought the house I've been living in for almost 10 years and there were so many hoops to jump through I think I've developed legs of steel!! Since I'm self employed, it was a real nightmare proving the income and whatnot to satisfy the bank. I'm also helping teach a Boot Camp class at our local YMCA @ 5:30 every weekday morning so I don't have to take time away from the boys in the evening to go workout. And with school starting, and homework every night for all four boys, it's been a very interesting last few weeks!!

Dad was evaluated by Area Mental Health Center as requested by his doctor, and also by Dad himself to test his competency to drive a vehicle. The loss of his driving privileges have really hit him hard and he has become quite angry with us, but Mom takes the brunt of it because she lives with him. Adam removed the keys from the house because Dad was threatening to physically tear the house apart to find them after Mom told him she would not give them to him.

He was nervous and didn't do as well as he had hoped on the test. It showed that he is experiencing dementia, which, of course, we already knew.

He was placed in the Normal range for:

• comprehension
• repetition
• naming
• judgement

He was placed in the Moderate Impairment range for:

• calculations
• similarities

He was classified as Severe Impairment range for:

• construction
• memory

The report states that "Based on his cognitive deficits and input from family about their concerns, it does appear that Philip should not be operating a vehicle at this time."

This was, of course, devastating and although Dad denies any depression, his anger and irritability, along with other indicators do point toward that. The report indicates that the therapist testing him also had concerns. She felt that with the loss of his driving privileges, the loss of activities he previously enjoyed (things his back pain and lack of energy prevent like golf and bowling, etc) and the other symptoms pointed toward depression but Dad once again denied that he is feeling any depression.

This test was to give us a baseline for further evaluation and treatment. His driver's license has not been formally taken away, but he is under orders from the doctor, the local mental health center and his family not to drive.

Dad is becoming quite impatient, which is not normal for him at all. His computer will not turn on now, which may be a simple fix, but I was not able to take it apart that night, so he called me as I was leaving to ask me where he should go to buy a new computer. I told him he didn't need a brand new computer, probably just a part to fix his and he became angry with me telling me he has been spending all sorts of money on that old computer and he just wants a new one so it will work right. He has not had to spend any money at all on his current computer aside from the initial purchase and a $30 CD rewriter drive that I installed myself. When I reminded him that I would fix it when I had time, he once again argued with me that he would just go and buy a new one. I told him that if he was that intent on a new computer (which I'm afraid will only be more complicated than his current one) that I would help him find a good deal and we would check eBay. He then asked what stores in town sold eBay. When I gently reminded him that eBay wasn't a brand, but an auction website, he became angry and defensive.

Once again, I feel like this is not my dad. I am so very glad we still have some good times and that he is such a sweet guy when he's being himself, but the bad times sure do help me appreciate the kindness of the ones I love.

August 13th

Today Dad had an evaluation with the lady from our local Area Agency on Aging. Dad is still insistent on driving and is having a hard time accepting that he may not be able to drive again. She asked him simple questions, some of which he answered well and others he was completely off. He claimed credit for all the cooking, cleaning and laundry, which are all things he needs help with. He also told her he hadn't fallen in 4 years, and that the obviously new bruising on his arms was old. He may have been trying to bluff her, or possibly he just does not remember.

He is becoming frustrated with himself (which in a twisted way, is a good sign, because it indicates some comprehension of his situation) and that's hard to watch. He got upset to tears today over the fact that he spent almost 2 hours cutting some cantaloupes and then as he was throwing away the rind, he absentmindedly threw away all the fruit, too. Of course, he was standing on his feet on the hard kitchen floor for that entire time, so I know his back was hurting and then he didn't have anything to show for it.

We have another evaluation scheduled for next week. This one is with the people from the mental health agency, and while we're not worried about a mental defect, they may have some ideas in regards to medications that could help control his mood swings. And they will be another "authority figure" to reiterate to him that he cannot drive at this point.

I went to their house tonight with 2 of my boys (I have 4 boys for those of you who might not know me!!) and after I had been there for quite a while, and had spoken to him, he looked at my face and said, "Ashley!?!?" I don't know if he hadn't really recognized me before that, or if this is just another example of his fading in and out of consciousness. He then looked at my son, standing directly at my side, and asked where he (my son) was. He seemed to know them until that point.

The lady doing his evaluation today asked him what his plans were for the future (trying to assess if he understood that he might require long term care) and he had no idea what she was trying to get at. He doesn't realize he has changed so much and is not at all ready for the idea of having to leave home. That will be a hard discussion when it has to come.

July 11th

Yesterday, Dad saw Dr. Mangosing, and was told they could still find nothing wrong. Like I said before, that is a good thing, but if we can find a blood level that's off or something like that, maybe there is a treatment that could return him to a more normal state.

Dr. told Dad he was no longer allowed to drive, which very much upset him. He was convinced that Mom, Adam and I were over-reacting and that the doctor would take his side.

I have talked to our Area Agency on Aging and they are going to help us with figuring out what he qualifies for and how to make sure he gets the right type of care, especially if we have to place him in a facility, we need to make sure we are meeting his needs in the best way possible. I am hoping that is down the road, but we may need to do it soon, at least temporarily, to possibly try some new medications and therapies, and see what he best responds to.

He talked to me yesterday when his fog seemed to have somewhat lifted, and he was nice and told me he loved me, which is something he hasn't done in over a week and I've seen him several times. Later, however, he was being very adamant that he did not want me to come over to their house. He left me a voicemail, called me in person, and then called Adam to make sure I was not going to come over. Worried, we called Mom, who was fine but had no idea why it was such a big deal that he didn't want to see me.

We're still just taking it one day at a time, and Mom is taking the brunt of it. He gets very angry at her for no apparent reason, and when you ask him why he's angry, he doesn't even know. The other day, he asked her to bring him a drink from the kitchen, and while she was in there, she asked if he wanted anything else. He became angry and snapped at her that if he did, he could get it himself and she needed to stop treating him like an invalid who can't do anything for himself. He was angry for the rest of the day over that, and he was the one who had asked her for help in the first place!! It's those situations that are so very frustrating and heartbreaking all at once, and they happen all day long lately.

August 7th

We recieved the results of his chemical analysis just a moment ago. It's fine. Which is a good thing, except that we wanted there to be something treatably wrong that could explain why he is having such a sudden decline into dementia.

Mom says he's having a good day today, and I am very thankful for that. He would hate who he has become when he's confused and I'm sure this is a very scary thing for him.

Also, Dad is not checking his email regularly because he no longer really understands the computer. I have been over multiple times to help him but he doesn't understand even when I am there showing him. Continue to send him things if you would like, but please do not be hurt if you do not get a response.

We really appreciate all the phone calls and emails. I apologize to you if you recieved this blog as a forward from someone else, especially if you are family and I should have had your email address; my computer ate my email program a while back and I was unable to retrieve the addresses from it. If you would like to contact us, you may call my house (620) 276-2820, or you may text or call my cell phone (620) 272-6650. You can call me anytime on either number. My email is angelbear@gcnet.com, or simply comment on this blog and we will see those also. Mom & Dad's house phone is (620) 276-0797.

August 6th

Recently, Dad has had a drastic personality change. He is disoriented, and will no longer listen to reason. For the most part, we have been able to remind him that he's had some recent confusion and that is usually enough to settle him down and he will listen to us and our reasoning at that point. That is no longer the case.

He tells Mom that she is the one with problems, not him. He is often nasty toward us, with no reason or provocation. His common sense is gone, as in taking his jumper cables from his car down to the basement, and packing the car with every empty suitcase he could find because he was angry with Mom and going to run away.

He voluntarily relinquished his keys about 10 days ago, but this weekend was wanting them back. He called me and I reiterated that Mom, Adam & I all felt that he was unsafe to drive, but that we would take him anywhere he would like to go. He became angry and will no longer speak to me civilly. Last night, he left the house, walking in the direction of the highway that is about 2 blocks from their house, looking to cross it to go to Taco Bell for something to eat. Mom found him and nicely encouraged him to get in the car with her, as it was hot and humid outside, and she would take him to get food. He yelled obscenities at her, and refused to get in the car. She tried another time and was met with similar resistance. She then called me, and I was able to get him back to the house. He still was speaking to me very harshly and wanted me to leave and not come in their house.

This is not my father anymore. It's quite sad to have to watch someone you love become someone else.

We got the results of the CT scan today, and it was negative. While that is a good thing, it would have been nice to have an idea for a direction to go with some treatment. His doctor, Dr. Edward Mangosing, thought this new cluster of symptoms was due possibly his ammonia levels being too high and ordered bloodwork today. If it was high enough, he was going to admit him to the hospital. So that's where we may be tomorrow if the results come in. He also ordered a urinalysis, as urinary tract infections can often make dementia worse. Hopefully, we will know more tomorrow morning once we have the test results.

Welcome

Hi!! I am Phil's daughter, Ashley. I decided to create a blog about my dad's medical issues so his family and friends could keep up with his progress, but also for me to have as a timeline to look back on later if necessary, so if you see a post that looks like it's written to myself, that's why!!

In August of 2005, Dad was admitted to the hospital because he needed his gallbladder taken out. He was scheduled to go back to his job teaching science to special education children the next day, but was instead admitted to the hospital for emergency surgery that evening. He knew he was in pain and needed to go to the doctor, but wanted to begin the school year first.

His surgeon, Dr. Joanne Rink, was absolutely wonderful and was able to complete the surgery laproscopically, which gave his body much less trauma and stress than an open procedure would have. His gallbladder was grossly inflamed, discolored, and all around horrible looking.

After surgery, he was transferred to the ICU, where he spent several days. He almost died while in the ICU, and it was very difficult to watch. Mom and I took turns taking extra care of him when he was transferred to the medical floor. He was unable to feed himself, let alone walk. He fell while in the hospital once and bruised up his face and head very badly. However, we had lots of visitors and support from friends and family, which was greatly appreciated!!

When he was dismissed from the hospital after the third lengthy admission, things started turning around for him somewhat. He slowly rebuilt his strength, and came out of his mental fog. He has no memories for about a six month period, and has not been able to build enough strength up to return to work. He has been on disability since that time, but functional for the most part until very recently.

His confusion has been related to a buildup of ammonia in his system, and he takes a medication to help bind it and remove it from his body. He takes a number of other medications daily, some for the pain he is in following his car wreck when he was 18, and the aftermath of 4 different back surgeries to try to correct the problems that caused.

That is a VERY abbreviated version of the events of the past few years. I will continue with another post to let you know the latest news.