Dad is still having trouble accepting that he is no longer capable of driving and it is difficult for all of us. Mom wishes he could still drive, especially with winter and icy roads, and also just as much for his own peace of mind. She is handling all this extremely well and I am very proud of her. I cannot imagine the added stress his condition puts on her day to day. She is 100% responsible now for all of his medications, transportation and all the normal day to day activities he used to be able to help with, such as cooking, cleaning, and laundry.
He can do some things with direction, but he is unstable when standing which makes it almost impossible to do many of those things. He still feeds himself, although he is messy. He is still showering alone, and can dress himself (aside from footwear) in things like sweats. He can do the stairs, though they wear him out and he heavily relies on the handrail.
We are constantly reminding him to stand up straight as he bends over at the waist to almost a 90 degree angle. I know his back is in constant pain, but he has never bent over this far in the past. He leans quite quickly and has nearly fallen several times that I have seen myself.
He is becoming sneaky to try to get what he wants now. He lost his cell phone about 3 weeks ago, and told me to just go buy him a new one. When I talked to Mom, we agreed that since it had only been a few days at that time, we would wait to purchase another one. He called me again, to make sure I had ordered it, because, "Mom told you to go ahead and purchase it, right?" I told him I thought we were still going to keep looking for a while before spending the money on a new phone, but he insisted that he and Mom agreed and wanted me to order it. When I spoke to Mom later that day, she said they had talked about it several times and that she was still looking and that they had not agreed to buying a new one just yet. He will call people from the bedroom or basement so Mom can't hear his conversations. She did eventually find the phone, packed in a suitcase they hadn't used in years, along with his drill and the battery charger for the drill.
His concept of time is not good anymore. He will insist things happened months ago when it's barely been a few days. He will call and ask me for a time frame that something happened (because he and Mom can't agree and he gets angry very easily) and when I (without knowing who is arguing which side) agree with Mom he quickly wants to get off the phone with me, and then will tell Mom that I agreed with him. That is, until she gets the phone to call me back, when he usually gives in and tells her that I didn't agree with him, but that Mom was, in fact, correct.
He still has many facets of his personality that make him "Phil" and I am so grateful for that. He is generous and giving, and he obviously loves all of us very much. I know this is hard on him because he realizes that he is not able to do things to help other people and is becoming increasingly dependent on Mom and others to do things for him. He is handling it well for the most part, but the driving continues to be what hits the hardest.
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